The inestimable power of relationships

In my blog this week I want to talk about the power of relationships. I must admit I have nicked the idea from Jon Gordon, a leadership coach whose blog I follow.

Anyway, I was inspired by his latest entry in which he told the story below (taken from his new book, Soup):

"Nancy walked back to Soup, Inc., headquarters thinking about all the turning points in her life and realized that every great event happened because of one relationship or another. She had met her husband through a relationship. She had landed her first job out of college because of a relationship. She’d been hired at Soup, Inc., because of a relationship. She reasoned that the people we meet and the relationships we develop have the biggest influence on the course of our lives.

It was a lesson she wanted to impart to her kids and anyone who would listen: The world is a mosaic of people and opportunities, and when you make relationships your priority, the possibilities are endless. Great relationships lead to great outcomes. Develop as many great relationships as possible. Make time for them. Nurture them. Engage them. Not just at work but at home. In your community. On airplanes. At the ball field. Everywhere. You never know where your next idea, opportunity, or life-changing moment will come from or which relationship will be behind it.”

This struck a chord with me. Firstly because I realised how true it is. I have spent the last three months pounding the pavement trying to drum up business. Finally my hard work is starting to pay off. The secret to this (modest) success? Relationships. As I often tell other self-employed people, every single piece of work I ever got came through a relationship I built somewhere.

It resonated for another reason, though. Whilst I understand the power of building relationships, I still fail to make time to build and nurture them properly. Not because I do not like the people I am building relationships with, but because building relationships seems somehow frivolous. The hard, focused, analytical parts of work and life feel like they should be more important.

The reality is this: Failing to make time to build relationships because "I do not have the time" is like failing to see the wood for the trees. Without relationships we have nothing. They are the stuff of life, of work and of leadership.

Every relationship has, as Jon Gordon says, endless possibilities. Leadership is defined by relationships: nothing else really matters.