Sometimes we've just got to accept the sort of leader we are

I was out hiking the other day. Hong Kong - for those who don't know - has hundreds of miles of beautiful trails that wind through jungle, up mountains and over waterfalls. I know it is hard to believe, but it is true.

A group of friends and I are training for a well known mountain 'race' called Hong Kong Trailwalker. It is being held in November. I am the team 'leader' and was pleased to have got the team out for a walk on a warm and sunny Sunday morning.

About half way through the hike we came across a rare stretch of paved road that sloped gently downwards. My buddy and team-mate Mike (a far more experienced hiker than me) suddenly shouted out "C'mon team, are you ready to go for it?" He then broke into a jog and the rest of the team, myself included, followed along.

What interested me was my instinctive reaction to Mike's leadership. I said to myself: "Now why didn't I think of that? There is Mike gee-ing everyone up, pushing them along and injecting a bit of energy into the hike. What was I doing? Why didn't it occur to me to up the tempo and make it more interesting? What sort of rubbish leader am I?"

And then it struck me: leading in this way just isn't my style. I'm much more of a 'support from behind' kind of leader. I'm the one who waits with the slowest person while the others rush on ahead. I make sure everyone feels looked after, supported and valued.

Like many executives I wish I could be more of an 'Alpha' leader. But I'm not. It isn't natural for me to be this way; it doesn't feel authentic. And trying to be something I am not is be far worse than simply accepting my own limitations and working happily within them.

Once I had got over my immediate disappointment I saw that leadership isn't just about inspiring and motivating the team. It is also, crucially, about letting other team members share the leadership and do what they do best. I realised the best thing for me to do was let Mike set the pace. I did, and he did, and we moved along smoothly and happily.

My conclusion is that leadership isn't about us, the leader. It is about what our people need from us. On the hike that day my team needed me to let my charismatic buddy take the lead. I know there will soon be moments when they need me to help them keep going, even though they are exhausted. And when they do I will be ready.

I came to accept who I am as a leader and it helped me do a better job as a result.